I wish i could go thru the pages of my past and rewrite it all. I would do many things differently, but i can't go back thru it. it's something that won't be fixed for as long as i've known these emotions i've been annoyed, i've been hated, and i've been missed. I know that this year coming will be different. A harsh reality will be smacking me in the face on the 1st. Knowing that being around my family will never be the same....knowing that being around my friends will never be the same. I wish i could just go back and say those words and then run away and hope you'd follow me. I miss those nights where i could sit and talk with you on the phone til the stars came out and we sat on your porch with the creeps walking by and still chatted to them and others. I believe nights that were the worst night of my life turned into nights of hugs and kisses. Venting my hate towards others; Sitting and screaming into the night wishing for them to leave me alone. I wish i could have had that goodbye kiss. I wish that everything wouldn't have changed. My hopes of having the best friend in the world is gone. i hope that this decision was the right one. Cutting myself off from you and those around you would help me out. I remember telling you no friendship would be like yours...then later that day slitting my wrists becuz no one else would be kind to you. With hate and with love i'm bleeding to death. i don't know if you're gonna see this and read it with pride or with hate. Not knowing is the worst, but i wanna know.....will you still...love me?